


never be the same

by who_tf_cares



Series: Lance McClain in the rain [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Character Study, Lance (Voltron)-centric, hunk shiro keith and lance's family are only mentioned, lance is just trying to figure out some stuff, major season 6 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 16:52:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14938181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_tf_cares/pseuds/who_tf_cares
Summary: Lance inhaled, finding the continuous splatter of the rain that soaked him to the bone soothing. A lot had happened the last few days, and he needed this time to think.Specifically about Allura.Lance thinks about the future of his relationship with Allura.[title from 'never be the same' by jessica mauboy]





	never be the same

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a bunch of people complaining about how Allura went straight to Lance after Lotor happened, so I wanted to write this to show my understanding of those interactions. I saw them as less romantic in nature and more just Allura seeking comfort and Lance providing it. But, it's up to viewer's interpretation, and it doesn't really matter if I agree or not. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Lance lifted his face and let the rain pound on his skin.

Finally, after who knows how long spent in space, he was back on Earth, if only for a little while. They finally had Shiro, the real Shiro back, and Keith too. And Lotor was… gone, and the Castle of Lions was sacrificed to save… pretty much everything. So much had happened in the past couple days that'd he'd forgotten what it was like to just breathe. Had it really only been a couple days?

With a quiet request, Lance had been exempt from meeting Sam Holt to collect the plans for the new Castleship, or whatever it was. Keith had furrowed his brow and given him that weird, angry look that always had Lance bristling, but Coran had readily agreed that they didn't quite need all of them to be there at the moment. Hunk had jumped on the opening to go tell his moms about his adventures, and Lance had gone home to his mama, his siblings, his beach, and his rain.

Lance inhaled, finding the continuous splatter of the rain that soaked him to the bone soothing. A lot had happened the last few days, and he needed this time to think.

Specifically about Allura.

It was no secret that he truly did like Allura. Okay, maybe at first it was just aesthetic attraction, but as time wound on and he learned more about her, the more serious those feelings became. He admired her strength, her intelligence, her optimism and her overall sweet demeanour. Sure, she was a little naïve at times, but they were kids - weren't they all? And maybe she was kinda prejudiced against the Galra, but who could blame her? At least she was trying to get over it! Which, another point of admiration. She'd also saved his life. Like, twice now. Or maybe a hundred times, if you count getting them away from Galra or whatever. But he'd- he'd almost died and that was messed up and she'd healed him. He knows you shouldn't love someone because they saved you, but it sure didn't do anything to quell his feelings.

So yes, Lance did seriously like Allura. But he… had no idea what to do about those feelings, and before he could figure it out, in came Lotor to fuck everything up.

Lotor, the prince with pretty lies and promises of peace and plenty of praises to shower Allura with. Lotor, the half-Altean who seemed to be the only one who truly appreciated her culture. Lotor, who… Allura had fallen for, very quickly.

And yeah, sure, Lance hated Lotor for that, but if Allura truly wanted to be with Lotor, he wouldn't have gotten in the way. He wasn't an asshole who thought he was entitled to any woman he liked - he understood that Allura's choice had to be respected. He'd find a way to deal with the heartbreak. But when Lotor's true motives were revealed, Lance was furious for three reasons - one, obviously, he was evil and trying to take over the universe, just like Zarkon; two, he had played the lot of them like Marco could play guitar; three, he'd used Allura, and now she was the one heartbroken. And- that's just- Lance never wanted to see that expression of pure anguish on her face ever again.

He knew that Allura knew his true feelings by know. Those nosey mice couldn't keep a secret from her to save their lives. And he knew that maybe - maybe, if he sucked up his pride and properly confessed, or if by some miracle Allura finally began noticing him - something could be between them. But… would she really want that? Would he?

When Lance had hugged Allura and tried to comfort her after Lotor's betrayal, he wasn't looking to be romantic. That wasn't what she'd needed. Lance had just figured that since he had wanted a hug after he realised he never had a chance, maybe she could do with one too. Maybe they could find common ground in their heartbreak. And he knew that in no way were their two experiences similar, except maybe that they both had fallen for people with white hair or something, but he also knew that finding someone who knows how you feel can help so much. And yeah, maybe he liked Allura a lot, but maybe he could settle for being her friend.

If Allura did approach him… if she confessed that she'd developed feelings for him, Lance would be stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, he'd probably just be a rebound for Allura - someone to help her get over Lotor. On the other, he could seriously damage their relationship if he rejected her. He didn't want her to go out with him out of- pity or a desire to move on or whatever, but he also didn't want her to be even more upset than she (rightfully) already was.

Allura was the heart of Voltron. Losing her… could mean disaster. Especially because Lance really didn't think Blue would take him back anymore.

If one thing had been drilled into him for years, it had been that you can't give everything. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Lance might be able to help Allura back up again, but he wasn't sure he'd survive giving his heart only for it to be inevitably crushed.

Lance exhaled, lowered his head and squared his shoulders. This was what he'd needed. Time to get his thoughts in order… at least, some of them. He didn't know what to do about Shiro. He didn't know how Voltron would work from now on. He didn't even know how he'd talk to Keith again. But for now, one weight had been lifted. If Allura came to him, he'd reject her kindly and tell her why, and then he'd help build her confidence back up again. He could help her, and he wouldn't break himself in the process. They'd already had enough pain to last them a lifetime. He had to pull back and say no when he could.

Lance caught a raindrop in his hand before turning on his heel and walking back to his home. A lot had happened these past few days, but he'd get through it.

And yeah, maybe things would never be the same. Maybe they'd never go back to being wide-eyed kids thrown into a big universe, maybe they'd never have time for classroom crushes anymore. But really, with space and aliens and intergalactic wars and flying robot cats, who would expect things to stay the same for more than a day?

Lance stepped out of the rain and felt the familiar fire of determination reignite that not even the ocean could put out.


End file.
